I said the only way I’d consider staying together was on the condition that we talked our problems through with a professional relationships counsellor. Sol agreed immediately. That may seem surprising and I’m sure many men are reluctant to try couples therapy, but Sol is African and in his culture it’s perfectly normal to call in a third party for advice when a marriage is in trouble.
"I knew about Relate and looked online for a counsellor. I found a local woman and called to make an appointment. She was quite businesslike on the phone. It was a short conversation to arrange a meeting a few days later.
"We met the counsellor for the first time at her office. It was a simple room but nicely furnished with potted plants and cushions. She’d taken care to make it feel cosy and not intimidating.
"She sat us down and explained the purpose of Relate and then asked us both to describe why we felt we’d reached the point of asking for help and what we each wanted to achieve.
"We both said that we wanted to come away from the sessions better able to deal with our anger and the arguments we had. marriage advice